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Why your triggers can be your greatest gift

 

You're listening to the Elevate U with Rebekah podcast, I am so happy you're here because that means that you are about to start elevating your life in ways you never imagined. I am your host, Rebekah Kiger. I'm a mastermind set and high performance coach, as well as a financial advisor of over a decade. I've been studying the differences between successful and unsuccessful people for all these years. And I'm going to be diving into all of the things on this journey together. This podcast is a combination of mindset, spirituality, strategy and encouragement that will have you reaching new heights in no time. If you're looking to elevate your finances, relationships, mindset and health, then this podcast is for you. I'm going to show you all the ways to master your mind so you can create the life that you desire. Because once you learn how to do that, truly Anything is possible for you.

Hey, guys, welcome back to the Elevate U with Rebekah Podcast. I am so excited to be here. Because over the last six weeks or so, I have been deep in the creation of I am revamping my money mindset mastery program. It is an eight week intensive. So we are actually on week six this week. And I've just been deep in the creation and have put the podcast on hold a little bit. I had some interviews and some backlogs, but I actually haven't recorded in about six weeks. So I'm really excited to be here today. I was listening to the last episode again, with me and Victoria, just diving in even as sometimes an observer, you know, and looking back on some of the creations and just what we were talking about. And

I just got me really inspired to come back on. So

I really enjoyed our conversation. If you didn't check that out, definitely, definitely go back and listen to the Queen herself, Victoria clients and she's the self love queen. And she is just amazing. And she'll help you to build the confidence in yourself that you need to show up fully in this world, just as you are. So diving into today's episode, we are going to talk about why it is that your triggers can actually be some of your greatest gifts. Now I know this might sound counterintuitive, and it might actually be triggering for you. If that is the case, I want you to just bring some awareness to this today. Bring up? Where is the awareness around your triggers? Where are you finding that you're being triggered? On a daily basis, you might get triggered to this episode.

Just without blame, without judgment, bring awareness to where these things are coming up, because I'm going to give you some tips, and some different things that you can do to uncover these things. And really notice, number one, why are you having these triggers? What are the significance? And how can they possibly be a gift right in your life? So why are these triggers actually coming up? Where are they coming from? And what are they trying to tell us so that we can use them for good. Instead of just walking around as triggered and unhealed individuals, right? There's so much of that in the world right now, if you look around, you don't have to look very far to find that people are triggered so easily. And I think more now than ever before, right? At least in my lifetime. I haven't seen it to this degree to where we are right now. People are so triggered, they're always on the defense. They're always looking for ways to judge other people and make other people wrong. And the reality is, you know, hurt people hurt people, right? So those who have things going on inside of them that are going to be triggered by these external circumstances, you know, are giving away their power to these external circumstances and triggers and things in their lives. So let's talk about what actually is a trigger. And why is it important to recognize these things? Okay, so let's just start there. So first and foremost, a trigger meaning you know, when you get triggered

Buy something when something external happens outside of you.

That triggers an emotional response. So that's the kind of trigger that I'm talking about. Right? So an external event, an external event happens. And it triggers a response with inside of you internally, typically an emotional response. So

why do triggers come up? Typically, the reason that a trigger comes up is because it is an unconscious

communication that is trying to take place inside of your body,

inside of your mind, but your unconscious mind is telling you that there is something inside of you, that needs healing.

Now, again,

notice if you're being triggered by that statement, all right, just notice what's going on inside of your body.

Our unconscious mind is responsible for a tremendous amount of the things that happen on a daily basis. your unconscious mind remembers everything. So there's an amazing, amazing book called The body keeps score. And I can't pronounce I forget how to pronounce the author's name, the body keeps score. And it talks about how all of these triggers all these emotional things that go on in your life are in your body, in your unconscious mind in your

physiology.

Okay, so when an external event comes up, and you feel emotionally triggered, it is your unconscious mind trying to tell you

to pay attention. That's basically it's trying to tell you to pay attention to what's going on right now. Because there's something off, there is something unhealed. Right, I'm gonna give you an example. So when I was pregnant, I was about eight, seven or eight months pregnant, my mom was driving. And she must have not been paying attention to the road. So I was in the passenger seat. She was driving. And she wasn't going very fast. But I don't know what she was doing. Maybe we were talking something like that really remember much beforehand, we must have been having a conversation, she wasn't paying attention. And she didn't turn wide enough to meet the bend

that she was driving on. And she smashed into a telephone pole. Now, it wasn't anything crazy. There wasn't a tremendous amount of damage. It was the glass shattered, broke. And it scared the living crap out of me because I was pregnant. And it was she smashed into it on my side. Okay, so there was glass, and, you know, a little bit of debris and things that had like, kind of shattered right down onto me. And, obviously, I was shaken up and got very scared. I was 18 when I was pregnant. So, you know, I was an adult, but I still got nervous. I mean, I had a, you know, human life inside of me.

Ever since that happened, okay, my body remembers it from a physiological standpoint, the emotions that came up, that was a significant emotional event for me. So my body remembers all of that.

And because my body remembers all of that, anytime I'm in the passenger seat of a car,

and someone is not paying attention fully to the road, like maybe they're talking and they just look over at me or they're, oh, hey, look at this, whatever it is. For years and years and years, I would get so triggered and like hold on to the you know, little bar you can hold on to if someone's driving like a maniac or

I would get like my body on a physiological level.

It would go back to that time where we were in the car accident and it would go into like a fighter flight, very nervous state of mind.

I didn't consciously think, Oh, you know,

the person who's driving is going to crash the car. Or I didn't consciously

you know, try to make a big deal. It was just my body reacted because it remembered that traumatic event of

getting into a car accident when I was pregnant. Okay, or at least, you know, smashing the window. It wasn't anything crazy. But it was it was a big deal to me. on an emotional level. It scared me.

that's a that's a trigger. That is my unconscious mind. Trying

To tell me that I have unhealed

emotions around that event. So me being a master practitioner, and mental and emotional release, I, once I learned how to do these modalities and actually let go of these things on an unconscious level,

I went back, and I did some release work around that car accident,

I let go of the negative emotions, and any limiting decisions that I made as a result.

And now I can drive in a car without feeling like I'm on high alert, you know, the whole time.

So that's a trigger. And everyone has triggers, because of certain events that happened. I do a lot of work with my clients around money mindset work. So a lot of the triggers that I see that come up on a typical basis are going to be around money are going to be around, you know, essentially, if you're someone who maybe gets triggered by someone who has lots of money, and you know, maybe they're on social media, living their best lives, and you just can't help but roll your eyes or get triggered or upset or jealous, right? When you see them doing that. That's also a very, very common thing.

And what I want to point out with that is just the same way that my body was remembering the trauma around this car accidents. Okay? Because trauma can be big or small, it doesn't. You know, trauma doesn't always have to be that

horrible, horrible, horrible things happen, right? trauma can be whatever your body deems as trauma.

And the reason that I want to bring this up is because

society has not done an amazing job of recognizing that each and every person understands trauma, and understands pain and understands

going through

significant emotional events. And so sometimes we downplay certain traumas over others. And I want you to know that whatever it is that you have gone through in your life, whatever it is, that brings up these triggers for you, whatever it is, that you have experienced, is 100%. justified.

And it's your experience. And I just want you to know that

it's validated. Okay. So

my body just the same way it was remembering the trauma around the car accident.

As I was going through my money, mindset journey and growing, I began to recognize the triggers that would come up for me when I would see other people living their best lives. And I will get triggered, and I would get angry, and physiologically, I would feel a shift in my body

where I would be jealous, hissed off annoyed.

And all of the above.

What my unconscious mind in the in those moments was trying to tell me is that there's something out of alignment here, something is off, right? You're getting triggered, because

something is off, something is unhealed inside of you that you for some reason, don't think

that the way that that person is living their life is possible for you.

So typically, we have a lot of what are called baggage around money. So baggage is negative emotions, limiting beliefs, limiting decisions, things like that.

And specifically, as it relates to money, when we have baggage around money,

we're not going to be able to attract the same kind of money

that the other person has that we're being triggered by.

Because we're almost demonizing it, we're looking at it from a lens

of negativity.

So I want to talk a little bit about the unconscious mind and the language of the unconscious mind.

So the language of the unconscious mind is imagery, and emotion,

imagery, and emotion. So

take the emotional piece for a moment. Let's say for instance, that you see someone on Instagram living their best life. They're traveling the world or they've got all the expensive cars and the

Nice homes or whatever it is that you desire in your life, right? We all desire different things. But let's say for instance, that you see someone who is living their best life. And you're getting triggered, and now you're annoyed?

Well, if the unconscious minds language is imagery and emotion,

and you're experiencing a negative emotion around the image of someone living their best life,

what do you think that you're telling your unconscious mind in that moment, take a second to think about that.

your unconscious mind sees an image of someone living their best life and you immediately have a negative reaction to it, a negative emotion to it.

Quite literally, you're telling your unconscious mind in that moment that you are associating

living your best life with negative emotions. And with that, do you think that your unconscious mind is going to try to help you

get closer to that best life or further away from

of course, when you associate negative emotions with living your best life, your unconscious mind cannot help.

But want to move you away from that, because it really actually believes that you don't want it. Because the language of the unconscious mind is not English.

It's imagery and emotion. And I'm going to prove that to you. Okay, so if you are not driving,

I want you to just play along with this for a second, because I know that this was something that really helped me to understand the unconscious mind.

And if you are driving,

you can play along, but just don't close your eyes when I say to close your eyes. Okay. So for those of you who are not driving, go ahead and close your eyes for a moment.

And I just want you to imagine for a second that you are in your kitchen,

I want you to imagine that you're in your kitchen, and that on your kitchen counter is a lemon.

And I just want you to imagine for a moment that you are

grabbing a knife,

you're cutting that lemon in half.

And then I want you to take one half of that lemon

and put it up to your mouth.

And I want you to just take a bite of the lemon. Just imagine that you're taking a bite of this lemon

and you're feeling it, swish around in your mouth.

And I just want you to notice

if you are salivating right now,

I'm literally salivating and I've done this a million times.

Now you and I both know that you actually don't have a lemon in your mouth.

Unless maybe did this exercise in real time. Most of you guys did not go and cut up a lemon and put it in your mouth. Why are you salivating?

Why are you salivating?

Because your unconscious minds language is imagery and emotion and you imagined yourself grabbing that lemon putting it in your mouth.

And your unconscious mind believed you. Okay? So the truth is

that

when we

are going to tell our unconscious mind

what to do, we want to make sure that we're moving towards

our goal and not away from.

Okay, so

if you're being triggered again, notice what it is that's triggering you.

Notice what it is that's triggering you.

We typically as humans get triggered by lots of different things throughout the day. And so again, strictly from a place of awareness, and not a place of judgment. I want you through the remainder of the day. If you're listening to this at night or bedtime. Try this on tomorrow.

Okay, for the remainder of the day for the remainder of the week, if you can.

I just want you to begin to become aware of the things that are triggering you in your life. Where are you getting annoyed?

Where are you getting frustrated? Where are you getting angry? Where is your mood shifting as a result of an external

activity, that's all I want you to do is focus on bringing awareness to your triggers.

And then from that place,

start to ask yourself some questions. getting curious about your triggers.

start asking yourself like, why is this bothering me?

Why is this bothering me? Let's go back to the example of watching someone live their best life.

Why is that bothering you?

Is there maybe some unconscious belief that

you would never be able to live your best life? Or you would never be able to accomplish the things that that person is accomplishing?

Right, so start to get present to that.

And ask yourself, What do you feel that you can't have in your own life that makes you irritated by someone else? Who has, what they have?

What's one thing that's really important to understand about triggers is, you won't allow something to trigger you.

If you don't, at some level,

believe there is truth to what is being said. And I want to clarify what I mean by that. Because that might not make a lot of sense on the surface.

So if someone were to come to me and say,

You know what, Rebecca?

You're just a stupid, fat, ugly old homeless man.

I would probably laugh,

right? Like, do you think I'd be triggered by that? No, because there's absolutely no truth to it, right? First of all, I'm not stupid, right? I'm not fat. I have fat just like everyone. But I'm not fat, right? I'm a person.

I'm not homeless. I'm not an old man. Right? Like, there's no truth to it. So I wouldn't be triggered by that. Right? Does that make sense. But if somebody while I was still still on my healing journey, would have come to me and said, Rebecca, you're a fat ugly

idiot.

I absolutely would have been triggered by that.

I absolutely would have been triggered by that. Because I used to believe that I was fat, not realizing that every human has that there's no human way possible that you could be fat. Fat is a part of the human body, you can't be only fat. Right? So it's removing myself from that identity of who I believe that I was. Or if someone would have called me a bad mom, five years ago, that absolutely would have triggered me. Because at some level, I believed

I was an 18 year old who had a child, I was a child raising a child, and therefore Did I make mistakes? Absolutely, I did.

And so at some level that I believe I was a bad mom, yes.

Now that I've gone through the proper release, work, the proper healing work to get over those things. If someone were to call me a bad mom, now,

I would not be triggered by that.

Because my daughter and I have the most amazing relationship possible. I could not ask for a better relationship, the healing and forgiveness work that we have done together. There's no one that can take that from me and tell me that I'm a bad mom.

I did the best with the information that I had at hand. Did I make mistakes? Yes. And I have also asked for forgiveness for those mistakes and made right on those mistakes. I can never take back what I did. Right. But I can know better and do better going forward. So

I want you to consider as you're being triggered by things.

Is there some level of you some aspect of you that believes

even if it's just the slightest bit, just begin to get curious about it? What part of me believes that there may be some truth to this, and then explore that? Because again, if it were not true, you would not be triggered by it. If you didn't believe on some level that it were true. You would not be triggered by it.

And the big thing is to understand that it isn't about judgment and starting to judge yourself and blame yourself. This is about bringing awareness,

bringing awareness so that you can heal. Because the more that you can heal, the more that you can get to that next level in your life, the more that you can elevate your life. Because the reality is our triggers are holding us back.

If you look at your relationships, right? Where are you being triggered in your relationships? Okay, as someone who is in a relationship, I know that relationships can be one of the biggest

and most challenging

parts of your life.

And that other people, especially when you're living with someone else, you're married to someone else. It's your children, someone who you're around all the time.

Other people's actions are external activities, right? And how many times do you been triggered by them?

I know for me, I have worked through.

I'm right there with you. And I've worked through a million triggers, I don't even know how many. I know the modalities now to work through those triggers, to move past those triggers. So they don't trigger me anymore. But you can't move past something if you don't even know it's happening.

Right? If you don't have any awareness to the fact that you're being triggered, or why it is that you're being triggered, you're just going to walk through life on autopilot thinking that this is the way that you are.

This is just who I am. Right? The reality is, when did you decide that that's who you are? When did you decide that you are

triggered by people who are living their best life?

When did you decide that? Because the reality is you decided that

you were the one who made that decision at some point, whether you did it consciously or unconsciously. So just as powerfully as you made the decision that you were going to be triggered triggered by that you can make the decision that you're going, you're not going to be literally that's how fast you can make a decision in your life.

So begin to notice where those triggers are coming up.

And in addition to that, begin to see where are you cutting off

the abundance flow as a result of these triggers.

So again, as I noted, as I noted earlier,

whenever you are feeling jealous for someone who is living their best life, you're telling your unconscious mind that you don't want that life or you don't want to live that way. And so therefore, it's literally going to try because it thinks that's literally what you want.

Because that's what you're focused on, right? So it's going to

essentially not help you get to where you want to be

going back to the relationship example, where are you being triggered in your relationships? And how is that stopping the abundance of love in your life?

Right, I remember millions of different scenarios where I got triggered by certain things that, you know, my significant other would do. And

he didn't even know he was doing it, like, and I would get triggered. And then now you know, we get into a fight or the night is ruined, or whatever the case may be.

And I was cutting off abundance, the abundance of love, or the abundance of memories or joy in my relationship, because of my triggers that had nothing to do with anything other than me.

So begin to notice where you're cutting off abundance in your life.

just explore it, just explore it from a place of curiosity, as though it's almost like someone else is experiencing it when we can really take a step back

and look at our lives through like almost a third party.

That there's so much clarity that comes as a result of being able to do that. Sometimes it's difficult.

And sometimes it's difficult to see ourselves. That's why we need mirrors. That's why we need friends. That's why we need people who can help us see our blind spots.

But most people are so strong in their ego,

that they're not willing to see

where they're wrong.

And to me it's not about being right or wrong. It's about living in full and true alignment with your highest self

It's elevating your life to that next level. Because what got you here isn't going to get you there.

And there's new levels that are required of you,

each time you're taking that next step in your life.

Okay? So once you recognize

these triggers, once you get to a place where

you can see them, you've identified them, maybe you've begun to ask yourself questions around Why? Why are you being triggered, maybe you're getting some really deep things that are coming up for you. As a result of this,

some things I would recommend doing.

And you can take my advice, or you don't have to, that's okay. Whatever feels most aligned for you.

is definitely always where I would recommend for you to go. But some things that I did is, you know, maybe journal on your trigger. So you've identified the trigger of, again, let's use that common one where you're getting annoyed, frustrated, jealous of other people who are living their best lives.

Some questions that I would explore in my journaling practice would be, what is the root cause of this?

What is the cause of this? Jealousy? This annoyance, this frustration, this anger?

When did this start? Like when did I start to be jealous of people or angry with someone else who has what they want in life?

And when did I decide to be triggered by this? When did I decide that?

In addition to that, I would begin to explore

if that's a trigger of yours, right?

your belief in your

own worthiness,

your own deserving of life, at its fullest potential.

And maybe even spending some time really

reminding yourself

that you are worthy, just as you are,

that you are perfect, just as you are.

That you deserve your desires, just as you are.

I believe that you

listening to this podcast right now, are absolutely 100% innately worthy of every single thing that you desire.

I believe that you were born worthy,

you have always been worthy. And this is a journey of coming back to remembering

how worthy you actually are.

How deserving you actually are.

Because life may have beaten you down, which is why you're triggered by things.

And I want you to know that it's okay.

It's actually Okay. That you're triggered. It's okay that you have these unhealed aspects of you.

Because you're here right now, doing what it takes to work through it.

So don't you dare blame yourself.

Don't you dare blame yourself, for the things that have happened in your life.

Because the only thing you're going to achieve by blaming yourself is creating more shame and more guilt.

And ultimately, more triggers.

So begin forgiving yourself. And if you need to journal on this do it.

One thing I recommend some people who have

a lot of unforgiveness around the things that they've done.

The things that other people have done is write a letter, either to yourself or someone else. You don't have to send the letter.

This is for you. Unless you want to of course.

Write a letter to yourself, forgiving yourself for the things that you have done.

So that you can begin

to have peace with the past and heal. With those parts of you that don't feel worthy that don't feel deserving of the life that you desire.

And

I want you to know that

while your triggers are coming up, and while this is something that you're bringing awareness to,

it's actually okay for you to spend time away from the things that trigger you until you feel healed enough to come back.

You're not required to continue to put yourself in a position that's going to trigger you.

You know, maybe if it's work or something like that.

Maybe that's a little bit of a different story.

Working through those triggers while you're at home, and the time that you're not at work.

But when it comes to relationships, when it comes to watching other people, again, going back to that same example, living their best life,

it's okay to unfollow and unsubscribe and

not be around the people who are triggering you, or the events that are triggering you. So if someone's Instagram page is making you feel like crap,

you can unfollow them,

you do not need to keep subjecting yourself to the triggers,

until you feel like you can.

Because there will come a time where you're healed. If you dive into this work, if you do the proper things, to release these triggers to release what's holding you back.

To get to the root cause to bring up the awareness to forgive yourself. If you do that proper internal work.

Eventually, the goal is

to move past these triggers.

Now, I do think that, again, there's new levels, right. And as you get to new levels in your life, and your finances and your relationships,

you will find new triggers. And that's okay, because you will know how to work through them. Once you've worked through one, you'll know how to work through them all.

And then it'll be a fun game of you finding the triggers.

And doing what it takes to release them.

Okay, so you're not required to subject yourself to the situations, the people and the circumstances that trigger you.

If it takes you unfollowing pages until you feel worthy enough in your own life. So follow them again to where it no longer triggers you then that's what it takes. And allow yourself that grace.

If it's a family member, that triggers you,

a friend that triggers you maybe pick and choose when it is that you want to be surrounded by that person, if you're not energetically feeling up to it that day.

Maybe you don't go

maybe you don't pick up the phone when they call that time.

Right? If you're being triggered by other people, there is nothing that's obligating you to continue to subject yourself

to that

circumstance,

no matter what it is.

And you can absolutely have a conversation with these loved ones, right? and say, Hey, this is something that I'm working on healing.

And I'm struggling with this, would you be willing to help me? Would you be willing to come on this journey with me? Would you be willing to support me in my releasing of this? If they say yes, then great. If they say no, then maybe next time make all right.

I'm not there for it.

Or I'm busy.

And I think that

this is a whole other conversation. But I want to talk a little bit about these boundaries because most people

feel like they have to answer when someone calls or when someone invites them somewhere they have to do it or, you know, a lot of us are people pleasers. I'm a recovering people pleaser.

So with that,

and I'll have different conversations on this alone because most people are not very good at setting boundaries.

My hands up there with you. I used to be one of them.

So

I want you to know that

if someone invites you somewhere, if someone calls you if someone wants to

engage in a circumstance or something

One that you know is going to trigger you and you're working on your healing.

No is a complete sentence.

I'm going to say that again,

I want you to recognize that no

period

is a complete sentence.

You don't owe anyone

an explanation as to why it is that you want to put yourself first and you want to heal.

Because you continuing to show up as the unhealed version of you is literally

holding you back from being the best version of you in this relationship, in this circumstance in this job in this, whatever it is, right?

So

this podcast is all about elevating your life, getting to that next level, whatever that looks like for you. So continuing to be triggered by things and not doing the proper internal work that it takes to heal them is quite literally holding you back from that next level.

So if you need to say no,

because maybe you have things that you need to work on internally, before showing up for whatever it is

that I want you to remember that no is a complete sentence. Okay. And last but not least more than anything else, guys.

I want you to accept yourself, just as you are, know, and understand that you are perfect.

And that what you have been through in your life, to this point is exactly what was supposed to happen to bring you right here right now.

And if you're here listening to this, I know that that means that there is something so much greater for you on the other side of these things. On the other side of these hardships on the other side of these triggers, on the other side of this healing, there is so much more available for you.

So I really more than anything, want you to make sure that you are not placing blame on yourself.

This isn't about blaming yourself or other people. This is about taking responsibility and ownership for where you are right now and healing it.

It is not your fault, what happens to you in your life, but as an adult, it is your responsibility to heal it.

And I'm here to help you through that journey

as just someone else who has finally made it to the other side. And I don't know that there's ever an end, I say the other side because

I'm not in the deep depths of it.

But I used to be, but I was. But I was I have seen

a tremendous amount of healing that has needed to take place in my own life. And I did all of the things that I'm telling you to do as well, which is take a step back, remove myself from the triggers, figure out the root and heal it.

And I can tell you that there's so much freedom on the other side.

So I'm here to be your guide along this journey as well.

And I just want to see you living as the most healed version of you because I believe again, that when one of us rises, we all rise, we all rise. And then if we can live as our most authentic healed, versions of ourselves, just imagine the life that we can create.

So that is all for today's episode.

I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, please share with someone else who you feel would benefit from this information as well.

And I'll see you next time. Bye.

Thank you so much for tuning in to this entire episode today. If you enjoyed this podcast, Would you do me a favor and leave a quick review. This allows me to reach more people. And if you found value, others will too. Also, be sure to share this episode with your loved ones because I believe that when one of us rises, we all rise. And if you're looking to connect on a deeper level than this podcast can allow, consider joining my brand new elevate you inner circle free Facebook community so we can elevate even higher together. Let's continue to rise. See you next time.

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