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Why some people achieve lasting success & others don't

 

You're listening to the Elevate U with Rebekah Podcast, I am so happy you're here because that means that you are about to start elevating your life in ways you never imagined. I am your host, Rebekah Kiger. I'm a mastermind set and high performance coach, as well as a financial advisor of over a decade. I've been studying the differences between successful and unsuccessful people for all these years. And I'm going to be diving into all of the things on this journey together. This podcast is a combination of mindset, spirituality, strategy, and encouragement that will have you reaching new heights in no time. If you're looking to elevate your finances, relationships, mindset and health, then this podcast is for you. I'm going to show you all the ways to master your mind so you can create the life that you desire. Because once you learn how to do that, truly Anything is possible for you.

Hello, and welcome back to another episode of The Elevate U Podcast. I'm your host, Rebekah Kiger, Master Mindset Coach. And I'm so excited to dive in today's topic, because we're going to talk about why some people achieve a lasting change and success in their lives, and others don't. And this really can be in any area of your life. And I want you to think about maybe there are areas of your life where you are super successful. And like, you know, you've got it in that area of life. And then I want you to think about another area where you just can't seem to figure it out, you're like, I don't know why I have such an easy time figuring out this, but I can't figure out that. And so I want to talk to you about exactly what's going on an unconscious level. Because you guys know by now how much of our life is determined by our unconscious mind. And throughout this journey of this podcast, we're going to be diving into deep into the unconscious mind. So definitely stay tuned. But we are absolutely going to discover why is it that some people achieve lasting success and others don't. So stay tuned. If you are interested in this area, you will definitely want to tune into this episode.

So let's talk about why some people achieve lasting success and others don't. So I want to refer to something that is called the logical levels of change that was created by Robert Dilts in the 1970s. And so this is something I learned through the world of NLP, which is the neuro linguistic programming, essentially, NLP is just how the unconscious mind connects with the conscious mind and helps us to make decisions and how we're programmed and that kind of thing. And so we'll be diving deep into that as well throughout this journey together. But I want to talk about this logical levels of change. So the purpose of the logical levels of change is to find out why some people can seem to make change in their life easily and some people can't. So if you have the opportunity to and you're listening to this, while you're not driving, if you want to Google the logical levels of change chart, you can follow along with me. And essentially, if we take a look at the different levels of creating lasting change in our lives, we have most people who do this backwards. And what I mean by that is most people say things like this, and you might be someone who's done this. And if so I'm right there with you. My hand is up. Most people think that change in their life is created by doing something different. Right? makes logical sense, right? So if I just do this differently, than I'm going to be able to create lasting change in my life. And I want to challenge that for a second. Because if you have ever set a new year's resolution, let's just say for instance, you set a new year's resolution. Most people have a very large percentage of people set new year's resolutions around their health. And they want to just now all of a sudden on January 1 magically become the healthiest person that they could possibly be. And again, my hands up with you. I'm not I'm making fun of all of us together, put it that way. Because I've definitely done this. So you know, we set these goals and we're just magically going to be doing all of the things right? We're going to be working out eight days a week, right? We're going to be eating all the healthy things. We're going to cut out every bad thing we possibly can. We're going to be at the gym all the time, you know, we think that we're going to just magically be able to change. And what we're trying to do when we do that is shift our behaviors. Right? It's we're trying to shift our behaviors. Unfortunately though, if you take a look at the logical levels of change The behaviors are not the core of who we are. Okay? The core of who we are, which is going to drive all of our decision making all of our behaviors, all the things that happen in our lives, is our identity, who we believe we are. And so Tony Robbins is quoted saying that the strongest force in the human personality is the desire to remain consistent with who it is that we believe that we are. So what I mean by that is, and that same example of a new year's resolution, let's say that you get, you know, three weeks into the new year, what usually ends up happening? Well, an overwhelming majority of people are have already given up on their news resolution three weeks into the year. Why is that? Well, because their behaviors don't actually match their identity of who they believe that they are. So if you walk around saying things like, you know, well, I'm just not the type of person who can be super athletic, or I just, you know, I'm fat. I mean, the F word, right? A lot of people say, I'm fat, and I just, I don't know, I just can't, I can't do those kinds of things, right? Well, if you believe that on an unconscious level, and that's, that's who you're identifying as, then ultimately, what will happen is you will begin to speak that into reality into your truth. So that will remain who you are. So I want to ask you a question.

Did you wake up today and smoke a cigarette? I know it sounds like a silly question. But most people who answered No, if I asked you, why didn't you smoke a cigarette? You would say I'm not a smoker. Right? That's your identity, you believe that you are not a smoker, and therefore you don't do what smokers do, which is smoke cigarettes. Okay. But if you said yes, I got up and smoked a cigarette. I say, Well, why did you smoke a cigarette? Well, because I'm a smoker, right? You identify as a smoker, and therefore, you do what smokers do. And so this becomes really, really imperative. And I've seen this a lot with my clients where they're trying to make shifts and changes, but they believe on an unconscious level, that they are somebody different. And so if we don't adopt the identity of someone who it is that already has the life that you desire to have, that ultimately, we're not going to be able to create that lasting change. Okay, so here's the different levels of illogical levels of change. So it starts with our purpose, it starts with spirit, okay, God universe source, whatever it is that your belief is higher self, doesn't really matter. But it starts with spirit. And that's the first foundational level of the logical sub levels of change. Okay, and what I mean by that is, you know, we should be asking ourselves, like, what is it that I'm here for, that's going to really help guide us as to some of the decisions that it is that we're supposed to make. So if I were put on this earth, and my purpose on this earth, were to be to help people, right, and to spread positivity, and to be the light in the darkness, and I'm not making decisions based on that, and I'm not living my life in alignment with that things are gonna feel off, right, things are gonna feel off, and I'm not going to be fulfilled. Okay? The second step, alright, and this is kind of like a pyramid. So again, if you if you happen to get a chance to look this up, please do because it will help you to understand this a little better. And so, the next step is our identity. Okay, so spirit is even below identity, you know, because at the core of who we are, I believe that we are spiritual beings. We are beings of light. And we were put here for a purpose on purpose and by a higher power. Okay, so that's the first one. And then it goes to identity, which is Who are we? Who do we actually believe that we are? And not just like, not just on a surface, a surface level?

place, right, not just from a surface level perspective. We are. It's not just okay. I'm Rebecca. Hi, there. I'm from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I'm 33 years old. I have a daughter named this. No, that's not what we're talking about. Who do you believe that you are? So if I were to say things like, I believe that I am a spiritual being in a physical body, right. I believe that I am someone who was sent here up to this earth to create an impact on the world. I believe that I am a mother, right? I am a and so on. Right you get it. So not just who we are, you know, and who we identify Which is what most people think is their identity? And that's not what we mean, okay? We mean, who are you who truly are you. And if your identity does not match up with where it is that you want to go, there will always be a disconnect. And again, going back to that same example of the New Year's resolution, if I believe that I am a yo yo diet or Okay, if I believe I am a yo yo diet or but I'm going to try my hardest to change my behaviors and shift things, what's going to happen? Well, if I believe because the beliefs and my identity is a deeper root than my behaviors, eventually I'm always going to go back to that same belief that I might a yo yo diet or Okay, so the next step in the logical levels of change is our values and our beliefs. So what is important to you, us? Why what is important to you? And why do you believe that? Why is it important to you? Right, what are some of your beliefs. And I talk a lot about money mindset, and how to reprogram your unconscious mind for abundance. And so if you start to think about some of the beliefs that you hold, a lot of times, they're going to be the same beliefs that your family held, when you were growing up, or your caregivers, teachers, people like that. So a lot of times we pick up on these beliefs at a very early age, because we don't actually develop what's called a critical faculty, which is like our conscious mind, our logical mind until we are seven years old. And so a lot of times we're just walking around and picking up other people's beliefs. And so, you know, most people who are wealthy they were born to walk from into wealthy families, right. And then most people who are poor, we're born into poor families. And that's why, you know, the rich, the rich and the poor, stay poor. And so it's not that there aren't anomalies there. There certainly are, but there's a lot of unconscious programming and reprogramming that needs to take place in order for you to break out of that paradigm. Okay, so it's really important to understand what are your values? So what's important to you? And why do you believe them? Or what are some of your beliefs. So going back to the money mindset example, if you believe that you're the type of person who's not good with money, then any time that you go to change your behavior around money, because your values and your beliefs are a deeper root, then your behaviors, again, same thing, you might shift for a little while, maybe you'll go make some more money, maybe you'll get a windfall of money or inheritance, something like that. But what always happens is you go back to those beliefs, I'm not good with money. And therefore your unconscious mind has to listen to those beliefs. It has to it cannot shift your changes in your behavior without shifting your identity and your beliefs. And so like a very good example of this, which most people understand is someone who hits the lottery. So someone who hits the lottery. And I actually know more than one person who has have hit the lottery. I've been in the financial world for a long time. So people who hit the lottery, okay, again, a change in their behavior, if they all of a sudden get this windfall of money. Well, if we know that their behaviors are driven by their identity, and their values and beliefs, what happens when someone hits the lottery that has a belief that I'm not worthy? Or I am not good enough? Okay, those are common ones. That's why I bring that up, or I'm not good with money.

Okay, well, if we know that it's our beliefs that shape our reality, right, our identity and our beliefs that shape our reality, what ends up happening, and that no overwhelming percentage of people this actually does happen is that those beliefs and identities will play out. And it's 80 some percent, I believe, of lottery winners, that are actually in a worse position a few years later than they were before they ever had. And they tend to say that that's actually one of the worst things that's ever happened to them, okay? Because their behaviors, their external behaviors do not match up with their identity, and their beliefs. All right. So it's really, really important to understand our identity and our beliefs and reprogram those and reshape those so that we can sustain the level of success that we want. They always say if you become a millionaire overnight, in your bank account, you better become a millionaire overnight in your mind as well. And if not, you will lose it. Okay, the next step in the logical levels of change is capabilities. Okay, so how do we get where we want to get are we capable, right? Do we have what it takes? What do we actually know how to do? Again, going back to someone who hits the lottery, right? If they don't know, tangibly, they're not capable of managing their money, because they don't have the knowledge and the wisdom and the understanding, then again, that will shift their reality drastically. Okay. And then the next step in the logical levels of change, the second to last step is then our behavior. Okay, so what are we doing? Okay, what is it that we're doing? Right, but that doesn't come first. Most people start there. That's actually the fifth step and the logical levels of actual change, right? So if we're just trying to change our behavior, and we haven't addressed are we capable of doing whatever it is that we want to do? Do our unconscious beliefs and values align with that behavior, and does our identity and purpose aligned with that behavior, we're actually not gonna be able to create the change, I've seen it time and time again, and people will start something and just give up on it. Or they will move, you know, in the right direction for a little while. And then they'll pivot because it's not aligned with their identity. Okay. And again, a lot of these times, you know, a lot of times, these aren't always conscious things. Most of the time, we don't walk around saying, Well, you know, in these lottery winners, and people don't walk around saying, well, I am unworthy of money, and therefore I'm going to go spend it all, you never hear somebody saying that. These are unconscious beliefs, okay. So these are things that we decide as children a long, long time ago, sometimes these are even passed down to us from our parents, things like that. And so these are unconscious beliefs. All right, so I'm going to help you to figure out what those beliefs are and what your identity is. So don't worry about that. The last step in the logical levels of change is our environment. Okay? So where and when do we operate? Alright, so we, and this is something I hear a lot. So I just want to give you a quick example of what this means. So there are people here I live in Pittsburgh, and I have heard people all my life, say, if I just could get out of Pittsburgh, my life would be so much better. Okay. Well, that's great. And that actually might be true, right? Because the weather here isn't that great. I actually don't mind living in Pittsburgh. It's, it's served me very well to be here. And my whole family's here. So I don't mind it. But some people don't like the weather, they don't like this or that whatever. And so they'll say, you know, if I just couldn't leave Pittsburgh, everything would change. I've heard that more times than I can even count. And so what they're trying to do is change their environment. But if they don't change their behaviors, capabilities, values, beliefs, identity and purpose along with it, and if their environment doesn't align with those things, nothing is going to change. Do you remember the old quote that says, If you want change, you've got to change. Right? And so most people don't, they want change, but they don't want to be the ones to change. And this is where the disconnect lies, because we actually have to do the inner work, we have to do the inner work. Okay. So I told you guys that I would help you to begin to identify what is it? That is your identity? So number one, just start thinking about what is it? What are some of these I am statements that you make?

Okay, so do you hear yourself saying, Well, I'm just not good with money? I'm not good with this, or I'm not good with that. I don't know. I'm just not that kind of person. Begin to get curious about those things, things that you stories that you may have been telling yourself your entire life. Okay, begin to get curious and just start questioning. When did I decide that? I used to say all the time, I'm not a morning person? Oh, god, I'm not a morning person. Okay, well, when? When did I decide that? Because if I decided it, and I have the power to make that decision in my life, then I actually have the power to decide differently. And that's the beautiful thing about all of this. That's why we want to raise awareness to all of this because the truth is, we cannot shift anything in our lives that we aren't aware of, like, how are you going to shift something that you don't even know is happening? Right? And so that's a really important thing to know. So start to think about what are some of those things that you identify as, okay? And then also look around your environment. Alright, so if you're, if you don't know what your identity is, you don't know how you've been identifying or what you've been identifying as this whole time. Literally look around your environment. Okay. You will know so look at your body. Right? Are you in shape? Are you not? Are you have you been yo yo dieting? Is that because you believe that you're a yo yo diet or right look at your bank account. Do you believe that you know, we're just I'm not the type of person to make a lot of money. So I always have just enough. That was another one that I heard all the time growing up because you guys, if you've listened to my story, you'll know that I grew up in a very poor environment. And so I used to hear my mom say all the time that God always provides just enough. And so I adopted that and took that on as my own belief not knowing any better. I just thought that that's what it was, right? We don't. our beliefs are not. beliefs are just perceived truths. They're not true 100% of the time. So if we adopt them as our truth, and they play out in our lives as truth, okay, so it's our beliefs that shape our reality, and not the other way around. And so if we believe that we will live paycheck to paycheck, then we will, okay, and unconscious levels, we have this beliefs. So that was one that always showed up for me. So if you're living paycheck to paycheck, you never have more than a certain amount in your accounts, things like that. Take a look at what are the beliefs that have have created this life? What about your relationships? Do you believe that? I remember another thing that, you know, my mom had gone through some very abusive marriage and abusive marriage and you know, some some pretty traumatic stuff when we were growing up. And I always used to hear her say, you know, we you just can't trust men. Men are liars. Men are this men are that. And it's not to bash my mom. That was her belief. I mean, that's really what happened in her life. But I adopted those. I didn't need to adopt those. But I adopted those. And then I would always look for that. In other in men, I'd be like, Oh, he's, he's lying. You know, he's just a liar, like, right? And we start to look for evidence that these beliefs are actually true. So when someone then goes and lies and cheats on you, or cheated on me, you know, it was like, Oh, see? See, I knew it. I knew it. All men can't be trusted. Right? We're always looking for that validation. It to say that we were right. Okay, our unconscious mind loves being right. And so why not put some positive beliefs out there? Right. And we'll talk about that in a second. So the last thing that I want you to do in trying to identify your identity, right, is what are some of the patterns that keep showing up in your life? You know, are you ending up in the same kind of relationship over and over? It's just a different person, every time like, it's a different name, but it's like basically the same guy or girl, right? Are you again, you know, making lots of money and then losing it all? Are you putting on all this weight, and then take it all off? And you're just, you know, in these cycles, right, start to look at? What are the patterns that continuously show up in your life? And how would that person have to believe like, what would that person have to believe, to continue these patterns? So I'll give you an example. I used a yo yo diet. And for me, my belief, I always used to say this, too, is that I'm an all or nothing type of person. Okay? Well, if I believe that I'm an all or nothing type of person, what's going to happen is I'm either going to be dieting my head off, and the fitness version of me that I could possibly ever be in the gym all the time, super shredded, super, you know, happy with my body, or I would put on 40 pounds, and not care. Right? Because I'm either all in or all out. I used to believe I used to say that all the time. Right, I had to identify that that was a belief of mine, release it and reframe it to know I can have a healthy relationship with my body and my food I don't need to be, I don't need to be an all or nothing type of person. I need to be all in or all out. What if I were just doing what it is that I feel is right at the time, right? So start to look at those patterns. Okay. And then once you've been able to do that, here are some ways to shift into the identity of someone who has what it is that you would want. So start to ask yourself, okay, begin to ask yourself. So begin to ask yourself, what is the identity of someone who has already achieved the life that I desire? Okay, so even if you fast forward your life, like say, right now, if you're not driving, close your eyes. And if you are driving, just imagine this for doing something else. Just imagine, imagine that you go out a year from now, or say five years from now. So you go out and do your future five years from now and you have already achieved whatever it is that you desire to achieve in your life. Well, what would that version of you have to believe about themselves what kind of identity would that version of you have to have, in order to achieve achieve that goal, right if you want to get into the healthiest version of you and your body to be at its perfect weight? Then does the identity of that version of you match the identity of the version of you today? And if not, how is it different?

And how can you shift it to match that this is the fastest way for you to quantum leap in your life is to begin to identify as an act as if you've already achieved whatever it is that you desire to achieve. So if you're trying to work on your business or your career, and you are now making X amount of money, and you want to double that, and that's your goal is to double that. Well, guess what, you're not going to get there the same way that you got here? Because your identity is someone who's making the money that you're making right now. And the identity of someone who's making double that is different. So how is it different? What would you have to believe? What are the what would you have to adopt? What kind of mindset would you have to choose to have? Okay, and it's a choice. So take back your power on this because you absolutely have the choice. And then another example would be if you wanted a beautiful relationship, you wanted to meet the love of your life, or you wanted just to improve the relationship that you're already in and a year from now you have that? What kind of beliefs what kind of identity is that version of you need to have? Okay, write it down, journal it out. If you're not doing anything, right now, do it now start to write this stuff down. So you don't forget, write, write it down? What does this version of you need to belief? What do they need to adopt as their identity? What are their values, right and work backwards, work it backwards. Because if you're showing up as if you already have achieved those goals, then you are a lot more likely to then from that place, be able to identify the behaviors that are going to need to get you there. Okay, so I'm so excited. I want to hear from you guys. Please let me know what these identities are what this looks like for you let me know on Instagram, let me know on social media, if you haven't joined my free Facebook community, please, you are so welcome in there. It's the elevate you with Rebecca inner circle. And I go in there live once a week doing question and answer you can come in connect with other beautiful like minds, people who are looking to elevate their lives as well. So get in there with us, come on over and have some fun. If you don't have Facebook, definitely connect with me on Instagram, I'd love to hear your takeaways, I'd love to hear what shifts you're going to be making in your identity and your beliefs. And if you need any help, certainly reach out to me as well. But I am so excited for you guys to do this inner work. This is really truly where it starts. And if you want to create those quantum leaps, you have to be looking at the identity. First and foremost, I'm just going to recap, we have spirit, at the core of who we are our purpose, we have our identity next, okay? And those two are literally the foundation of what's going to drive every decision. Every action step and every single thing that we do. Next is values and beliefs. Okay, so what is important to us? And what are our unconscious beliefs? What are the things, bring those to the conscious awareness, okay, even if you don't know all of them, bring up what you do know. Okay, start to think about and question some of these beliefs and ask yourself, when did you decide that? So if you say you're not a morning person, when did I decide that? Okay, so it goes spirit, purpose, identity values and beliefs, capabilities, behavior, and then environment. Okay. So if you begin to create change at this level, and in these steps, this is what's going to create the lasting change in your life. Instead of just going and repeating that same habit over and over where you decide that you want to do something, you begin to move forward, you start changing that behavior, and then you snap out of it after a few weeks when you realize that it doesn't align with your identity. So if you want to create lasting change in your life, do it in this order. And let me know some of the biggest takeaways that you guys have. I'd love to hear from you. And until next time, guys, we'll catch in the next episode. Bye.

Thanks, thank you so much for tuning in to this entire episode today. If you enjoyed this podcast, Would you do me a favor and leave a quick review. This allows me to reach more people. And if you found value, others will too. Also, be sure to share this episode with your loved ones because I believe that when one of us rises, we all rise. And if you're looking to connect on a deeper level than this podcasts can allow, consider joining my brand new elevate you inner circle free Facebook community so we can elevate even higher together. Let's continue to rise. I'll see you next time.

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